Human Animal Communication

24 Jan
There are several times in my life when I’ve been fairly certain an animal was trying to communicate with me. These experiences usually start with hesitation–should I trust this woodland creature? I mean, who is he really? Then they round into cautious excitement–this beaver is trying to teach me something! Then it flows into mystic feelings of connection–Yes, neighbor’s cat I’m here! I see you! Communicate with me. But these encounters almost always end in solemn disappointment, because as hard as I’ve tried, I’ve never been able to receive a clear message. Once I thought this baby moose was trying to tell me I should take up wood working, but it turns out he was just eating some leaves.It’s never going to happen for me. Or is it?You can imagine my excitement when several nights ago I was awakened by the strange bark of a neighborhood dog. This bark was different. It was meaningful, it was clear. The dog barked and I understood! I knew what I needed to do. Change the sheets. Yes, the sheets. I didn’t care that the dog was giving me such a seemingly minuscule assignment.  He could have told me to eat the toilet and I would have dutifully complied. After years of trying, I was finally communicating with the animal kingdom. After changing the sheets, I listened for more instructions.  There were none, so I crawled back into bed and drifted off to sleep. Minutes later, the bark came again. “Ruff, ruff, ruff.” It’s happening again! In your face past failures and sadness. I quickly got up and changed the sheets a second time. Then, nothing, the bark was gone. As I began to feel myself falling asleep again, the bark returned.  Change the sheets. And I did. “Why so many sheet changings?” I began to wonder. Another bark, and I changed the sheets. Then another and another, and yet another. Change the sheets.  What does this all mean? Where is this all leading? Am I being prepped for some bigger assignment? Am I being initiated into the legions of K9ia? Then it happened…I woke up. A dream? A dream. My sheets were the same color they were when I went to sleep, and the alarm on my iPhone was sounding–with the distinct sound of a dog’s bark.

Now if you think a short (but true) story ending in a clichéd “it was a dream” is a disappointment, I can assure you the actual crushing realization was much worse than this literary let down.

Stupid iPhone with Dog Bark alarm sound option. Stupid life long animal friendship goal. Stupid subconscious trying to tell me 78 days is too long to go without washing the sheets.
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