Man vs. Car

28 Sep

Today I overheard a conversation coming from the safety department. One part of the conversation in particular caught my attention–they were discussing employee related auto accidents when someone saidKen destroys car--Street Fighter II

“It is pretty much impossible for a person to win in a fight between a human and a car”

I held my tongue, but I can resist no longer. That statement is obviously not true. I believe I owe it to my childhood heros to stand up for what is right. On countless occasions, I was either a witness to, or first hand participant in the utter decimation of a vehicle at the hands of Ryu, Ken, Chun-li, or Guile. And not only did they destroy the car, they did it within 60 seconds, AND after already competing in several rounds of brutal hand to hand combat. So, Mr. Safety Guy, howsabout you get your facts straight before you start spitting out nonsense and labeling it truth. Otherwise, be prepared for a shoryuken to the face.

Disclaimer/Additional Notes:

  • I didn’t mention Zangief  because he sucked.
  • I didn’t mention E. Honda because he sucked–not as bad as Zangeif, but still.
  • I didn’t mention Blanka or Dhalsim because the safety department’s argument was that a man could not win a fight with a car. And although I am not clear on what either of them are, I am pretty sure neither is a human being, regardless of what the storyline might claim.
  • I didn’t mention characters from later versions of Street Fighter II  because I am a purist.
  • With a few small changes, this post will also work against arguments such as:  “Ya right, nobody can throw a fireball”,  “It’s impossible to kick someone multiple times while spinning and being upside down.”  and “M. Bison on level 8 difficulty is too great of a fighter to be defeated without using a continue.”

One Response to “Man vs. Car”

  1. Jonathan September 28, 2009 at 9:26 pm #

    I noticed that you didn’t mention Blanca. Makes sense. You never have been one to understand how someone can electricute, yet not be electricuted.

    My guess is that he would just touch the car and the electrical circuits would blow. The fuses would pop and melt and the poor sonofabitch in the drivers side would fry like an egg.

    Game over. Blanca wins.

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